following the theme
of an unfinished conversation
here is my contribution...
when i said- its like
i'm living in my parent's house
all over again...
i wish i would have
clarified
defined
rationalized
that what i meant
was not
what i had just
said.
what i had just
said
sounded like
regret,
like distaste,
like bitter upset
at what you provided
for
my childhood,
at what you
offered
as a life.
what i meant
was
yes...
it is a house
of renovation
but full of
foundation...
of trial and error,
discussion and disagreement,
of sweet deep kisses
stolen between
sheets of drywall.
what i meant
was not
what i had just
said.
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9 comments:
why is it that a hammer in the hand of certian women, can be like giving ZENZ warrior princess back her sword. Ah, I have been here, in the sheer exhastion of a project..and snappish with the one I mostly love. This was a very visual poem, and very precise at pinpointing the action. Bravo
uh..that last letter in ZENZ was meant to be an A as in Z E N A....clearly not enough coffee...ever.
This was marvellous and somehow, without any effort, perfectly captured a sense of regret and tiredness -- so much so that I feel quiet and melancholy, though in a good, literature-caused way.
I keep rereading the last stanza
I love the way the words flow
An unusual approach to the prompt. I like the idea, and for me the middle stanza is the strongest. Nice use of detail.
A perfect expression of one of those "Let me take that back" moments. Very well done. Thank you.
oooh grrl, that poem has an edge--a wonderful, deep, sexy, stubborn edge.
nice writing.
Oh yeah, BTDT. (I don't know why people can't just read my mind so they know what I mean instead of just what I say!) :-)
Wonderful poem, gkgirl. You've captured that idea perfectly.
Great final line! I really like this struggle between saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Very, very nice my dear!
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