Friday, August 11, 2006

regret on a poetry thursday.

following the theme
of an unfinished conversation
here is my contribution...

when i said- its like
i'm living in my parent's house
all over again...
i wish i would have
that what i meant
was not
what i had just

what i had just
sounded like
like distaste,
like bitter upset
at what you provided
my childhood,
at what you
as a life.

what i meant
it is a house
of renovation
but full of
of trial and error,
discussion and disagreement,
of sweet deep kisses
stolen between
sheets of drywall.

what i meant
was not
what i had just


wendylou who? said...

why is it that a hammer in the hand of certian women, can be like giving ZENZ warrior princess back her sword. Ah, I have been here, in the sheer exhastion of a project..and snappish with the one I mostly love. This was a very visual poem, and very precise at pinpointing the action. Bravo

wendylou who? said...

uh..that last letter in ZENZ was meant to be an A as in Z E N A....clearly not enough coffee...ever.

Stuntmother said...

This was marvellous and somehow, without any effort, perfectly captured a sense of regret and tiredness -- so much so that I feel quiet and melancholy, though in a good, literature-caused way.

Colorsonmymind said...

I keep rereading the last stanza
I love the way the words flow

la vie en rose said...

brilliant! i'm lovin' that last stanza...WOW.. and i love where you decided to take this week's prompt. very cool!

twitches said...

An unusual approach to the prompt. I like the idea, and for me the middle stanza is the strongest. Nice use of detail.

GreenishLady said...

A perfect expression of one of those "Let me take that back" moments. Very well done. Thank you.

Jessie said...

oooh grrl, that poem has an edge--a wonderful, deep, sexy, stubborn edge.

nice writing.

Deb R said...

Oh yeah, BTDT. (I don't know why people can't just read my mind so they know what I mean instead of just what I say!) :-)

Wonderful poem, gkgirl. You've captured that idea perfectly.

Frankie said...

Great final line! I really like this struggle between saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Very, very nice my dear!