Monday, August 15, 2005

kermit the frog here with a muppet newsflash....

it appears that our local convenience store
has hired an insane woman
in order to cut down on the threat of people
robbing the store with a syringe...

(this is just speculation, of course, but whatever)

my first trip into the store, she was bubbly and happy
and full of "hi, how are you tonight?"s
and when i politely responded the obligatory "fine, how are you?"
i got a suddenly cranky snarky "my feet ache, i'm sweating and tired
and want to go home"
ok then...

so there was a line of people ahead of me
and a man was going to pay for his bottle of water with a 50...
annoying i know but not against the law as far as i have heard...
so here is the conversation:
cashier: i can't cash a 50
man: oh?
cashier: i can't, i'm not that all you got?
man: yes
cashier: well, i'm not allowed to cash it (very snarky)
i just cashed one and i don't have enough cash
in my till to give you change. is that all you got?

(is it just me, or are there little fault lines in her story?)
man: yes...thats all i have
cashier: (as she is punching in 50.00 on register and counting out change)
well, i can't cash it, i don't have the money in my till...i'm not
supposed to cash them, i just cashed one, 20, 40, 50...theres your
change...just remember next time, we're not allowed to cash 50's
and we don't do it....

if you are going to lie, have a good story first
i worked in retail...i know you lie...i lied
"yes, your book is on order" (when really we forgot)
"i have the order right here in my hand" (when really we couldn't find any
thing that remotely looked like an order done for you and when we ask
if we can verify your name and number, thats why)
"no, i'm sorry, that book is on backorder" (again, your book somehow
slipped thru the "lost-special-order-black-hole")
to be fair
we also had people that THOUGHT (for dead certain fucking sure)
that they HAD placed an order with us
when in REALITY (unfortunately, it is hard to bring some people
to that state of mind)
they had only inquired about the book and had NOT placed an order
better yet
had ordered it at another bookstore but would swear on a stack of bibles
that they ordered it from our store
and that we were just incompetent
(which we sometimes were, but damn, were we good liars....)

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