once again...i remain undecided...

sigh.

so i have found out that one of the children
i look after may be going somewhere else
around the middle of september
which will leave me with one child to look after.

i love this child like he was my own...
i have been providing care for him for about 2 years now...
but i can't live on 100 dollars a week.

realistically
i know that i could advertise to look after more children
but the stage we are at with the house
i don't know if it would work out.
the stairs are plywood really and completely open
the floor is unfinished
the kitchen is unfinished
the bathroom is unfinished
we occassionally still have staging attached to the house
and we still have bags of construction waste packed behind
the barn...
sigh
does this sound like the type of environment you would
commit your one year old to?
me neither.

sigh.
so then i checked into going back to school
and found out that there is a good possibility that i can
for sept of 2006
but now
what do i take?
human services
and i could be a TA?
dental assistant...
good money but putting my hand in other people's mouth?
LPN...
shift work? not bad money? demand?
medical secretary...
i always wanted to be a secretary
(goes back to my whole i-love-school-supplies-and-office-stationary-fetish)
but money? demand?
sigh.

what the hell am i going to be when i grow up????
and i thought i grew up in 2003 when i finished my ECCE course....
argh.
fuckin'fuck.