Thursday, July 06, 2006

personal poetry thursday...

no explanation.

and there she is
sitting across from me
feeling sexy, certain, silent
burgandy and bronze
wanting to be noticed
without wanting to be seen.

her skirt is full
and shadows are light
she listens to what you are saying
but doesn't hear,
not quite.

smiles are cordial
and vaguely polite.

answers are given
more ambiguous
than right.

and in her head
she is comparing herself
to songs.

16 comments:

Sacred Suzie said...

Love the last couple of lines! I know that girl, LOL. Love this poem.

Bridget said...

I love it. You are practically describing me! I think poems are most effective when you can see yourself somewhere in the lines. Is that apt or insane?

jim said...

Ah, I like the very careful and attentive placing in this poem, with the very defining "to be" verbs setting the scene. And ah, too, over "burgandy and bronze."

Frankie said...

Oh I LOVE the "and in her head she is comparing herself to songs." What a fabulous line. I'm so intruiged by this "she" and really relate to her. Wonderful poem, just wonderful.

♥ joleen ♥ said...

beautiful!!

krista said...

This is awesome. I picture you being the girl, and not the narrarator. Funny.

liz elayne said...

"burgundy and bronze"
such description here.

i want to know more...this is the "thing" with poetry...i often want to know more but am realizing that sometimes the poet wants me to figure it out myself...

acumamakiki said...

how delightful!!

Deb R said...

I love everything about this poem - they rhythms, the language, the sense that I know this person the poem is talking about (or at least someone very like her). Wonderful!

Dana said...

So that ending rocks. I love it. I love that first we get all the detail about how she looks and acts, then we move into her head, and there's something unexpected there. Yes, that does rock.

Colorsonmymind said...

I felt like I was right there sitting across from her.....

the descriptions brought me right there to the chair in front of her.

Wonderful

Ceebie said...

Oooh. I love the last stanza!

What does it mean to compare yourself to songs? What songs did you have in mind when you wrote this?

Lovely, thanks!

la vie en rose said...

this is wonderful! amazing! beautiful! i love it!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wow girl!

Bridget said...

I just had to tell you that I have popped in 3-4 times each day to read it. Amazing.

melanie said...

wow, this is fabulous!!!

beth said...

this is an excellent poem. well done.