Tuesday, May 09, 2006

heh...wouldn't it be funny if...


wouldn't it be funny if someone
had a spring-like resurgence of, um, interest
in their signifigant other
and to celebrate that
this person decided to buy some
new..um...underthings...to go
along with the resurgence...

(in her defence, she really needed
some anyway!)

and suppose this person found the
perfect thing...very little girl like
innocent and sweet and yet
very flimsy and not something you
would take with you if you had to
go and stay overnight at the hospital...

and suppose said unmentionables
were the cutest pale purple and light lime-green
and on sale for 2 for 20.00
(actually...they were ten dollars each but
this person likes the sound of 2 for 20 better...)
so this girl that i am telling you about
decided to buy both the purple and the green.

and oh yeah...
they even came on these cutesy little hangers,
covered in the same fabric and little bows and whatnot.

and wouldn't it be funny if when that girl
(who was kind of shy and modest and quiet...and modest)
was taking said flimsy yet innocent unmentionables
up to the cash and the only cash open
has a (what seems like) 15 year old boy working the register.

and suppose said 15 year old boy with acne did not notice
that the girl had the unmentionables all balled up
with only the price tags sticking out so he could scan them
and instead he starts fumbling around trying to take them
off the hanger (THATCOMESWITHTHEM) while
six people are in line behind her watching her
blush and mutter "the hangers come..leave them on the hangers"
as he croaks in his puberty cracked voice, holding up the
flimsy scrap of thong-like-once-innocent-looking-but-
now-just-screaming-pervert "oh...the hangers
come with this???"

wouldn't that be funny if that happened to someone...


♥ joleen ♥ said...

LOL you poor thing.

Deb R said...

Oh dear.

Well at least the undies sound really cute. :-)

Dana said...

Um, "heh" is right. I'm sure glad that didn't happen to you.

nichola said...

Poor boy at the checkout. Love the new look of your blog.

hannah said...

thats when you say something really outlandish like, "i couldnt decide which condoms would match so i decided to skip them, you think that will be ok??" that is if that had happened to you...

DayByDay4-2Day said...

That would be something.

la vie en rose said...

oh my god you're killing me!!! what a great story...and you tell it so well. and please, please, please send some of that resurgence my way because my love life is dying over here...

acumamakiki said...

Oh my! That's a funny story and reminds me of being a 12 y.o. and having my dad wait in the parking lot of the grocery store while I ran in to buy feminine necessities because he wouldn't do it. Ack!!

GreenishLady said...

Yeah. Could be worse (even if it had really happened to you). Could have been in a bookshop, and could have buried the book you wanted to keep hidden (hoping against hope that people will think it's for MY MOTHER!) in a big pile of books you didn't really need to buy, and maybe the saleswoman would have held THE BOOK up high, announcing very loudly "The woman who wrote this was in here only last week!", and could be you would leave the bookshop bright red with the copy of "Menopause - The Silent Passage" tucked in the bottom of your bag. Underwear? Any day, please!

liz elayne said...

oh i am cracking up...this is so, so good.

Shannon (Sentimental) said...

Now that would be funny! Very funny actually!

christina said...

Oh dear--you're so cute. I totally know how you feel. I'm not particularly stellar in the unmentionables shopping dept. either. I buy almost all of my undies at the Gap. But yay for a resurgence in appreciation for the signif!