chugga chugga choo choo.

i have had an
emotional
train-wreck of a weekend.

we don't fight
often
but when we do,
its for good reason
and its not pretty.

things are good now,
better than good...
they are freshly clean and laundered.
they have been viciously aired out
and hung to dry...

and now,
they are sweet smelling and
almost like new again...
they are familiar
in the sense that i remember
what it was about them i loved,
but new, too,
changed a bit
as experience
can change both of you
and your dynamics.

there are certain
images
that will say forever in my mind,
popping up unexpected
from time to time...

i used to use the word
gutwrenching
to describe how i felt about him
when we met
eleven years ago...
and that was how i felt
standing behind our house
in the rain
and wind
as he dissolved
into sobs...

gut-wrenching.