gratitude

yesterday i had an awful day
between all the kids crying
constantly
even the ones that didn't usually cry
and a lingering cold that is starting
to feel like a sinus infection
and bad hair
and a mailbox full of bills
and a half finished house...

then my husband came home
and said you have one hour
to go for a walk, have a shower,
and do something with your hair...

i said i was going to skip a walk
and head straight for the shower
but he stopped me and said "no...
go for a walk first"
so i did

the sun was shining thru the trees
and i walked to a little park
not far away
and just sat on a bench
and was still
and quiet
i took in all the shades of green,
the detail in the bark on the trees,
the way i love how different textures meet
concrete, pave, grass, mulch
then i came home
and had the hottest shower i could stand
and dressed....

then my husband took me for dinner
and to a movie
which we almost never do
and we never do unexpectedly because
its too expensive

what my husband does not realize
is that he gave me a great gift
in dinner and the movie
but what he doesn't know
is that when things get bad today
and the kids are crying
and my jaw hurts from the sinus pressure
and i still have my pajamas on at
three o'clock
all i have to think about is that
he did that yesterday...
cared about me that much
to do that...
and i smile
its not the memory of the meal
(chinese, which was great)
or the memory of the movie
(flight plan, also great)
but the fact that he knew i felt rotten
and he restored me...
and that he cares enough
about me to do that...
that was the gift he
ultimately gave me...

and so today,
although the kids are still crying
and my face hurts and my house
is still cluttered and not finished
i'm enjoying the parts of the day
where the kids laugh instead of cry
and i'm noticing when the tylenol
is taking effect rather than when it stops
and i'm absolutely drinking in
the way the sun hits our burnt orange walls
rather than the way the stairs are not
yet finished...