it's a brand new year...

hello 2015

i have been waiting for you
with bated breath
and avid anticipation.

2014 kind of hurt my feelings a little
on the way out...
made me question my parenting skills,
made me question how other people view me
as a parent,
as a person,
as a friend.

Made me wonder why i care so much.
Made me wish i could just let it roll off me like
drops of water,
inconsequential.
Why i couldn't listen to the advice
i would have given my own kids in this situation...
you can't please everyone,
listen to your heart,
trust your intution,
let it go,
move on.

but instead
i have been letting off-hand remarks
fester like open wounds,
re-running imaginary conversations in my head.
here's what i would say
if i ever said anything
but we all know that i won't
cause that's not what i do.

instead,
i have imaginary conversations in my head
of what i would like to say
but on the outside
i remain civil and barely smiling
{but enough to say that i smiled...}

so, hello 2015.
i am happy to see you.
i am going to let these bad feelings fade out with
2014
and i am going to sit down tomorrow with paper & a pen
and this year, i am going to pay attention to me again.
i am going to check in with myself...
cause i think i may have forgotten to do that in the last little bit of 2014.


now.
to pick my word for 2015.
a ritual that always makes me happy.
stay tuned!
:)