looking for the geese {nablopomo day 10}

i drove today.

i drove for hours
stopping wherever a picture
seemed possible...
clay roads,
steep hills,
provincial parks,
graveyards,
city limits...

and
finally
i found the geese...
chattering and clucking
and calling out mysterious
messages to the sky
before puffing up their chests
and taking off into flight...
i wish i could explain how
i felt inside
as they took off,
as the din of their voices
and their hard beating wings
passed over me
and left me in the silence
of a park-that-is-no-longer-a-park...

i stood
elated and excited
breathless and
taken away
by their formation,
their beauty,
their intent.

i am drawn in.

i think sometimes
that i lack spirituality,
i lack belief,
i am cynical and analytical and
precise.

yet in moments like this,
the organized chaos of take-off overhead,
this is when i feel
reverent...quiet...open
and peaceful...
like if i could just stand there
a little longer,
i might understand...
like something is so close to cracking
but
then
it stops...

and i am left feeling like i am
piecing together the tatters of a dream
i barely remember...