Sunday, November 12, 2006

longing. and fear.

i haven't been able to write much
this weekend.

my head just hasn't been in it.

you see,
there is something out there
in the world
that i want so bad
that it makes my stomach muscles
tense up to think of it,
it raises my anxiety to think
of someone else getting it...

and i am within an arm's reach...
i can almost touch it
but it can still be easily
taken by someone else
and i won't know until wednesday...

so that is where my head is.

visualizing what my life will be like
if i have this "thing"
visualizing my response if i don't
get what i want...

sorry for being so cryptic...
i just don't want to jinx myself...


Stuntmother said...

I hope you get all you want. And that when you get it, you tell us about it so we can smile with you.

No jinx, just good thoughts going your way.

This writing thing I am doing -- it is kicking me right now and I am already down. This is what I want and I have always been scared to find out that I can't do it. I am scared that I am finding this out right now.

Deb R said...

Ok, one teeny thing - don't visualize your response if you don't get it. If that happens you'll do whatever you have to do to deal, but right now let's see you visualizing what your life will be like WHEN (not if) you get what you want. Thoughts become reality, so let's make that reality what you want it to be. Sending good thoughts your way~~~~

acumamakiki said...

It's good to look at both sides of it and be prepared, and I'm hoping it all plays out favorably.

Colorsonmymind said...

Oh I can't wait to see what it is, when you get it.

Something on ebay maybe? I love mysteries.


Jessie said...

whaa?! hey that's not fair...i wanna know what it is!!
good luck! (...whatever it is)

blackdaisies said...

oh wow ... sounds exciting : ) sending you good vibes and loads of luck!!

Heather said...

I know that feeling, good luck to you, I hope it's yours soon.

Anonymous said...

Good luck! Waiting is one of the most difficult things- it brings us to the ultimate unknown.