Friday, February 24, 2006

friday's "gratitude"...(please insert dripping sarcasm)

i am grateful
my sense of humor

which is about the
only way
i get through the day.

let me elaborate...
here is a snapshot of my afternoon:
i am looking after four children under the
age of three...
one of them
(herein referred to as "three")
is a little pale and weary looking
but no fever and no complaints
and his mom is going through a rough time
so i debate whether or not to phone her...

"three" (who is the sickly one) proceeds
to vomit
all over the couch, himself and his teddy bear.
i lift him to the floor,
he vomits on floor and blanket.
i think he is done and start to remove his
hoodie which gets caught on his head
and he starts to vomit again,
into his sweater which is around his head.

i get the sweater off him and he stops
i wait.
he seems ok.
i pick him up to move him to the kitchen
to a garbage can or something suitable
in case he is not done vomiting...
guess what?

he wasn't done.
he continued to vomit en route
from living room to kitchen
and as an added bonus,
covers me as well...

i stand him in front of garbage pan,
pale, weak, and sad looking,
but no longer vomiting.
what i want to do is pick him up
and cuddle him
but not only am i covered in vomit
but "one" and "two" are slip-sliding
in vomit on the floor in the living room
while the dog attempts to
help me clean it the only way
he knows how.

while i appreciate his attempts,
the licking, slurping sounds
make me want to hurl.

oh...and not to be left out
of the mix, "sweetness",
the ten month old,
decides she is hungry...
she is hungry NOW dammit
and you better get your ass in gear
and heat me up a bottle, woman.

and this
is why i am grateful for my sense of humor.
because somewhere in the back
of my twisted and tortured mind,
i was plotting out what an
awesome (if not a little disgusting)
story this was going to make.

i hope you appreciate what i
go through for you people.

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