i fucking wish that...

• i hadn't just played bejewelled for the last 2 fucking hours of my life resulting not only in my being pissed off because i wasted that much time, but also that my arm is now numb and tingly in an unpleasant way and mad that jg says that game is boring within 23 seconds which says what about me and mostly pissed off and irritated that i played for that effing long and still didn't beat my effing high score...

• bloody rotten fucking dog from pit-bull hell next door would shut his yappy, barky, paranoid yip for one hour...one measly hour...

• or better yet, that the parents/owners/grownups responsible for said yapping annoying night owl of a dog WOULD BRING HIM IN THE HOUSE...no, really, its the middle of the night...take him in or let him off the fucking leash so he will run away to a house where people will love him (including his neighbors) because he will be LET in the house....

• i would have taken the opportunity to pee before the great and powerful OGG (who can also tile floors) started tiling the bathroom floor

• (in a similar vein of hindsight) that i would not have drank 2 glasses of diet coke while playing bejewelled for 2 hours because now I REALLY HAVE TO PEE...god damn it

• that i would have realized that writing all this stuff about needing to pee was only going to make the need seem that much worse...