Wednesday, June 29, 2005

and let me tell you, not to change the subject or anything...
but there is nothing i like more than being at a family gathering
that is not your actual family but your inlaw family
and alot of them there that you don't know
and having your sister in law choose THIS time
as a good time to bring up those
nights that you drank together in the last 10 years
that ended in disaster

so that all your actual contributions to the conversation are:

"no..actually, i don't really REMEMBER the night OGG pulled the light fixture out of the ceiling because after roaring at me 5 times to turn it off and getting ignored, he snapped, crackled and POPPED and pulled it out of the ceiling and we woke up with broken glass in our bed"

or "no..actually, i also don't really REMEMBER the night you were dressed as marilyn monroe for halloween and OGG and i got in a big fight and he pushed you out of the way and you tottered on your high heels into the plate glass window and cut your back open and had to go to ER and no...even tho you are now showing me the scar right out here on the deck, its not coming back to me"

or "no...again...i'm don't actually REMEMBER the night that i cursed at the people stopped at the red light right outside your house causing them to call me bad names from their car causing OGG to come to my damsel-in-distressedness and try to haul said people out of their car and causing said people to drive away dragging OGG from the car for two blocks causing his sandals to be torn off his feet and a huge amount of road rash to which the police finally intervened and drove OGG and i home making us promise to be nice to each other causing me to think they didn't really beleive the story about the people in said car's exsistence"

and lastly, "no...i really really really choose NOT to remember the night i was locked out of the apartment yet convinced myself that OGG was IN the apartment and just wouldn't open the door and when my attempts to convince the drug dealers in the apartment behind us to boost me up to the fire escape failed and my repeated phone calls to my own empty apartment went unanswered, i finally snapped and tried to break my own door down with a shovel...."

"no...i choose to remember none of this...but i'm sure glad SOMEONE is keeping track of it"

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